Outings, homeschooling, art & crafts, recipes, parties – My life revolved completely around my boys in the initial years of motherhood. Then my career came to a standstill and shortly after, marital problems that completely paralysed me.

I always believe in making the best of every situation. Failure provides opportunity to reflect and to learn.  I’ve learnt to be a less perfect mother, a more loving wife and most importantly, I’ve found someone really special in my life – and that is none other than MYSELF.

How I’ve neglected myself in the past. These days, I make it a point to spend time with myself – sipping coffee with a book, buying things for myself, looking up friends, etc. I do love my boys very much and I am still a committed wife. But I am learning the art of  balancing everything that I’ve put on the platter.

Of late, I have also learnt to splurge a little on myself. These purchases are of great significance – not because of their price. But because, I’ve learned to pamper myself.

That’s my state of mind.

[Chaos]

That’s the state of the heart.

]]> http://hunnybunz.janicechuah.com/?feed=rss2&p=293 3 http://hunnybunz.janicechuah.com/?p=288 http://hunnybunz.janicechuah.com/?p=288#comments Wed, 05 May 2010 02:10:18 +0000 admin http://hunnybunz.janicechuah.com/?p=288 Dear God,

“A snail was at the bottom of a well that is 16 m high. Every day, the snail crawls 5 m up the well but slides back 3 m. On which day would the snail successfully crawl out of the well?” [p3 Math]

UNFORTUNATELY, this is not just a Math question. It depicts my progress with matters of the heart. When will the snail see light?

*****

Dear Child,

“A tank is fitted with 2 taps, X and Y. Tap X takes 4 minutes to fill up the tank to the brim. Tap Y takes 6 minutes  to drain all the water from the tank. If both taps were to be turned on at 11.30 a.m., at what time will the tank be filled completely?” [P6 Math]

FORTUNATELY, this is not just a Math question. It should be your spirit regarding matters of the heart. Though there are ups and downs, the net effect is a positive one. The tank will fill in a matter of time. And the spirit will over flow again.

*****

Dear God.

What happens if the leak is faster than the tap can fill?

*****

Dear Child

Do not be willful and obstinate. Trust me when I tell you that the cup is half filled and not half empty.

*****

I worked very hard alongside my dear son. I met with his teacher after every lesson to check on his progress. I made manipulative and tons of flashcards. I devised interesting learning games. And after one whole year of laborious coaching, he is now able to read with ease!

This year, I spent less time thinking that he should be alright. I checked with the teacher at the end of last term, which was just 3 weeks ago. She told me that YXiang was doing OK. Then today, the teacher requested a meeting with me. It was a short 10 minutes meeting where she told me point blank that my child will not progress to the next module – because she is absolutely certain that he will not cope. “He can’t do creative writing, cloze passage and he is weak in comprehension ….”. I felt it was not fair for such verdict in a short time frame of just 3 lessons! “BUT you just started teaching creative writing and comprehension 3 lessons ago isn’t it? In just 3 lessons you concluded that my son is hopeless and that you are recommending him to be kicked out of the programme!?”

I did not bother to hide my displeasure and walked out of the classroom.

15 minutes later, I received an sms to inform me that Xiang need not go for lessons anymore after today’s lesson and remaining fees will be returned to me.

Case closed!

*****

Learning Points

1. Parents. Your child needs help academically. You searched high and low for a  good programme to help him (hopefully packaged with a committed teacher at a reasonable price). And you congratulated yourself as you chanced upon one.

But that is just half the answer. The other half lies in YOU, the parents. You need to work alongside the teacher to help your child.

In Xiang’s case, no doubt the programme had proved its worth last year and the teacher was committed, but my non-involvement this year might have impeded his progress.

I will need to take responsibility of my son’s learning again. Very quickly, I have drawn up a learning plan and created some worksheets. I have also made appointment to see his Chinese tutor to see how we can work together, as I do not want history to repeat itself.

Every child is different. YHang is bright and thus I just need to ‘dump’ him in a good programme and he will excel. However, this will not work for YXiang. Its either I adjust my expectations (that Xiang will be below average in his academic performance) or I FIND that time and energy to help him.

2. Teachers. “Your child can’t focus”, “Your child lacks motivated!”, “Your child misbehaves constantly in class” “Your child is weak in blah, blah, blah,…”

Unloading these frustration onto the parents would not help. The last thing that parents want to hear is his/her child’s problems from A to Z! (Which they might already know). It is heart wrenching enough to hear the problems. To top it all, there is this sense of helplessness – of not knowing how to help the child.

I was guilty of this as a beginning teacher. As I gained experience, I always think of how to help the child before making an appointment to see the parents. I will point out the problems, detail my plans to help and suggest how parents can work alongside me to help the child.

My experience today reaffirms this practice.  I was devastated by YXiang’s teacher’s feedback. “Your child is not coping!” My beloved child is only 6! His life barely stared! And you as an educator, put a FULL STOP to his academic progress!

Fortunately, I am a teacher. I know how to teach my child.I have the means to help him.

I could only imagine how helpless parents who are not able to/ don’t know how to coach their children on their own.

]]> http://hunnybunz.janicechuah.com/?feed=rss2&p=273 6 http://hunnybunz.janicechuah.com/?p=279 http://hunnybunz.janicechuah.com/?p=279#comments Sun, 02 May 2010 16:18:58 +0000 admin http://hunnybunz.janicechuah.com/?p=279 Jump. Prowl.

Bounce. Leap.

Hop.

Lurch. Nosedive.

Fly.

The space at home just ain’t enough.

:: Botanic Gardens ::

*****

YH had countless achievements. I recalled vividly our pride when YH was selected to be the lead actor in his pre-school graduation prom. When he entered primary one, he was outstanding – he did well academically and he was chosen for many leadership roles.

YH is in primary 3 this year. On the first day of school, his good behaviour was exemplified by the principal. He won a scholarship beginning this year. He was selected for an interview by external validators as the school was trying to clinch some character development awards. He will be representing his school for Weiqi competition end of this month, and not to mention many other workshops and competitions he had/will be attending.

*****

As we watched him strode up the stage during the school’s prefect investiture, I choked with emotions. This time, its NOT about his achievements. Its about being accepted socially. It about how people looked beyond his medical condition, his no-eye brows-two-sharp fangs-no hair-botak head,  albeit WEIRD look. Its about the confidence we have instilled in him though our love. Its about how we have helped the world to accept him as he is.

Those who had been following this blog knew how heart wrenching it was in the first few years. We emerged triumphant by God’s grace. And Yes! we are proud parents because we have done a great job parenting a special need child. We deserve pats on our backs.

And our journey continues …

View Romancing U album

Ever since we embarked on the education business, our couple time has reduced significantly. Thus when we received an invitation by U family for a love retreat which promises to ‘reignite the passion and discover true romance’ through activities like Mocktails &  Canapés Party with Couple Intimacy Talk followed by a romantic candlelight dinner before couples retire to their love chambers, we can’t help but giggled sheepishly and gave a shy nod of approval.

27th March, 2010. Orchid Country Club. This pair of love birds caught our attention. The wife dedicated a love song to her husband and they waltz gracefully though the dance floor. It was her husband’s birthday and she had pre-arranged for a surprise cake to be brought out for him after dinner. He knelt down and presented her with a lovely bouquet of flowers. She placed her wrinkled hands on him and they were locked in an embrace, oblivious of our prying eyes. Nope! They are not newly weds! An elderly couples as old as my parents.

It was a full 4-course candlelit dinner with wine under a blanket of twinkling starts that left us hunger for each others’ love.

We applaud U Family for their family focused initiatives to strengthen family bond. Check out their upcoming events here.

The setting sun.
The rising moon.

The lost art of romance.
The forgotten love.

Drowned by the passing of days to nights.
And Lovers became Strangers.

—–

Jack Neo expressed that his exposed infidelity was a “wake-up call” for him to cherish his family. It is sad that it takes a tragedy of such scale to make him treasure his spouse and his marriage. Then again, how many of us could claim that we are not taking our marriage for granted on a day to day basis?

The above poem was scribed when my own marriage was barely out of the woods sometime back. It reflects how our marriage has lost its luster over the years.

These days, we set aside time for each other – to make love, to gossip about friends, to argue about parenting, to plan for the future or simply to enjoy quiet moments over a cup of coffee.

Thus, we jumped at the invitation to Romancing U, a love retreat that claims to help couples reignite the passion and discover romance.

So looking forward to the event which promises intimacy tips from marriage experts, love potions from Mocktails & Canapés Party, a candlelight dinner with fine selection of wines and much more.

Tuition Guru Education Centre
www.tuitionguru.com.sg

Its been a month since the centre opens. Classes are almost 80% filled and running at full swing now. This business has a very humble start – I would not even call it a business to begin with! When I left Ai Tong school end 2008, a group of my  students had asked me to help them with Math. I am staying beside the school so it was convenient for them to come over after dismissal.

I had plenty of time to prepare for lessons, to understand why they don’t understand and to devise innovative strategies that help engage my students. I was elated when their grades leaped!

I really felt like crying when one day a student commented “Mrs Loh, you are so much better than when you were our form teacher!” A decade serving the ministry – I did nothing more than forcing worksheets down my students’ throats to meet the quota set by department heads! “Copy first – Understand later!” White space for thinking became white elephants as time was used to think of even more projects to showcase school excellence to stake holders. It’s only now that I could truly enjoy teaching and have room to be a effective teacher. No wonder, so many of us who left service looked back without even a tinge of regret!

Words of mouth spread like wild fire and by June, I was running classes from P2 to P6 and parents were paying deposits by August to secure places for 2010 classes. In November, I decided to secure a premise to run my classes proper.

In the past, I had everything in my head. Now that I have two other colleagues, I have to prepare solutions so as to synchronize out teaching methodology. Worksheets have to be typed out. Though hubby have been helping me with the administrative stuff, I have been up to my brim with work.

But it has been fulfilling. I am the lucky few that could marry passion and work.

I had written a couple of articles for parenting magazine over the years. This time round, my boys and I were featured in Young Parents (January 2010).

I really love the picture. The photo shoot was done last November at Singapore Press Holdings (SPH). The  shoots captured the fun they had!

Speaking of the boys – They had grown yet another year older.

Yihang is in Primary 3 this year. He came in 2nd in class last year and won an academic scholarship recently. He is also a school prefect. During his Science camp last December, he was elected the best camper for his team. He was complimented for his leadership skills. On the first day of school, he was praised by the Principal in front of the whole class. In fact,  just anybody who knew him has only praises for him. At home, can be a different story though. He is whinny, irresponsible, ill disciplined – then again, he is a 9 year old! As I am typing this, my eyes welled with tears as I recalled how we worried that this special child of ours not able to cope socially. He made us so proud.

Turns out that Yixiang is giving us a big headache and heartache at the moment. He misbehaves constantly. And its also worrying that academically he is struggling to cope. However, he is full of compassion. He takes good care of his little brother. I’ve neglected him as much time and energy had been spent on this older brother. Now, I try to shower him with as much love and attention as I could afford.

As I drift into slumber at night, I find myself looking forward to the mornings to see my little YiXuan. He will zoom around in his ‘choo choo’, his Thomas train every day. Last week, he started school! He looked so cute in his school uniform. He loves school and looks forward to taking the school bus to school every day.

I wished that I could capture the moments with my boys in a glass jar. But, these moments liken the morning dew.